I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
its not stalking. its research.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
