we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
