I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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