thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
