A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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