omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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