Who wears a wallet chain?!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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