i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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