I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
