You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
