Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
