I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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