I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
