Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
