did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the liver wants what the liver wants
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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