Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
