He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize