just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
