What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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