I am in a vortex of obligation.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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