Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I love you. Go after that dick
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
