I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
