I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
as a side note pls kill me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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