she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
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