Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
