The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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