I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
