worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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