you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
