i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize