Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
