More tranny stories later!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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