I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
