Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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