I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
