people are starting to question the shark bite story
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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