Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize