Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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