I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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