i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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