He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize