I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
