North Korea, Best Korea!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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