Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
