remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize