so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This is my gift to your gina
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
