She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize