Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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