booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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