Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
