I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
