There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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