i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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