My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
