I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize