I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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