the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize