I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
