My girlfriend figured out who you are.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
