he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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