It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
