i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it because I queefed?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have tasted many bathrooms
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
