Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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