hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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