I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
