that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
