take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
