I'm drive I can fine osifer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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