$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
