Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
