so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
