do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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