she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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