After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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