Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
